Call-a-friend and French Female masseusers advertisements in all the newspapers.
A lonely stretch; with only a few vehicles in sight. A girl stranded on this stretch making frantic calls to her friend; asking him to pick her up.
Somewhere; near G.B. road near Kashmere Gate; a guy has lost his way. A woman dressed shabbily in bright clothes and wearing loud make-up; walks past and says "dopahar ke time mandi hota hai; tu bol kya dega; mei negotiate kar legi". The guy is dumbfounded and hurriedly rushes to find a more safer place.
At CP; where people flock to enjoy their evenings; catch the latest release on Friday; shop till they drop. A gang of crazy college-goers aimlessly roaming in the busy market; cracking meaningless jokes; completely unaware of surroundings. While sipping Cola; one of the girls in the group abruptly tells everyone that she wishes to leave. On being persistently asked; she reasons that she is feeling unwell and heads towards home. Later, in the night she confesses to her friend; that there were few men; constantly staring at her. Their looks made her feel so uncomfortable and embarrassed; that despite of being with friends ; she just wanted to rush home.
Does any of the above shock you; or you see its common in a city like Delhi? I believe its shockingly common.
The reason that massage parlors work or you will find escorts at Defence Colony market; despite of prostitution being illegal; because people go to them. I have no aims of carrying out "morcha" to shut down these businesses. I'l rather focus on why do they exist.
What worries me and angers me is why there is a need to stare at a woman's breasts? Why do people( read both men and women) need to satisfy their lust by paying somebody to sleep with them. Why is it that- a group of students,who ostensibly go to study; pass lewd remarks at girls?
Is it because; the way the CITY views SEX ? Does this happen; only when people are sexually ready? OR have the seeds been sown; somewhere at a very early age?
While trying to trace answers; I observed that SEX; as a word comes associated with a very vulgar tag. SEX is taboo; in our society; though SEX is the ONLY reason why we all exist.
Why? so much hypocrisy about SEX when its a basic need of every human being. My small understanding says that; we have such problems in our city(read country) because we are confused about SEX. We practice it; but we wont talk about it.
Parents, books, schools do not talk about puberty; sex and desires with children. There is only one lecture in biology, which explains about reproduction. Every student looks forward to this lecture, only to be disappointed. An intimate scene in a movie, causes the parents to switch to a news channel. An advertisement on sanitary napkins gets the same treatment. Its basically a "HAWWWWWWWW" situation. All this suppresses a child's curiosity.
What are the kids left with? The resources are friends, porn magazines and now internet. But does any of these quench a child's thirst for knowledge? This incomplete knowledge leads to more confusion and curiosity and the only way to discover is to EXPLORE.
Just imagine; you are being told; not to open a particular door; because its risky. You are not told why is it risky; neither you are told what lies there and what will be the repercussions. What would you do? You will resist opening that door; till you can. Your mind will constantly think about that door and one day; when you can no longer contain your curiosity you will open that door. You will find darkness inside and to discover light you will keep going inside only to fall at some point of time.
Had the situation been- that someone told you "That behind this door lies darkness; which will make you fall. I'l keep telling you whats going inside; you just got to believe me; because I have gone behind that door. I'l let you go inside when I understand there is Light." Would you still go? The chances are negligible; because you already know whats in and one day you will go there to see it for yourself.
This is exactly what we need to do with our kids. Educate them about SEX. Suppressing and hiding things, never served a purpose and will never do.Tell them about puberty before their friends can. Tell them about pregnancy; safe sex before they become sexually active. We have to impart knowledge about what Sexually Transmitted Diseases are and how do they spread. Informing a child that AIDS is Acquired ImmunoDeficiency Syndrome is not knowledge.
Tell them that private parts of the opposite sex are not meant to be stared at. They are to be respected because they are the reasons for their existence. Tell them that breasts are to feed a child when he cant eat anything else. We have to tell the teenagers; that SEX is beautiful and its LOVE-MAKING and not satisfying your desires. Its important to help them distinguish between love and lust. Letting them know, that, its ok to have desires and fantasies; but its equally important to control them.
When we will be able to impart this knowledge; we wont need to tell the young adults to be loyal to their partners; or to use condoms. They will do it themselves.
I believe; the CITY one day will no longer be the one with suppressed sexual needs; but be the one where SEX is respected and not craved.
A lonely stretch; with only a few vehicles in sight. A girl stranded on this stretch making frantic calls to her friend; asking him to pick her up.
Somewhere; near G.B. road near Kashmere Gate; a guy has lost his way. A woman dressed shabbily in bright clothes and wearing loud make-up; walks past and says "dopahar ke time mandi hota hai; tu bol kya dega; mei negotiate kar legi". The guy is dumbfounded and hurriedly rushes to find a more safer place.
At CP; where people flock to enjoy their evenings; catch the latest release on Friday; shop till they drop. A gang of crazy college-goers aimlessly roaming in the busy market; cracking meaningless jokes; completely unaware of surroundings. While sipping Cola; one of the girls in the group abruptly tells everyone that she wishes to leave. On being persistently asked; she reasons that she is feeling unwell and heads towards home. Later, in the night she confesses to her friend; that there were few men; constantly staring at her. Their looks made her feel so uncomfortable and embarrassed; that despite of being with friends ; she just wanted to rush home.
Does any of the above shock you; or you see its common in a city like Delhi? I believe its shockingly common.
The reason that massage parlors work or you will find escorts at Defence Colony market; despite of prostitution being illegal; because people go to them. I have no aims of carrying out "morcha" to shut down these businesses. I'l rather focus on why do they exist.
What worries me and angers me is why there is a need to stare at a woman's breasts? Why do people( read both men and women) need to satisfy their lust by paying somebody to sleep with them. Why is it that- a group of students,who ostensibly go to study; pass lewd remarks at girls?
Is it because; the way the CITY views SEX ? Does this happen; only when people are sexually ready? OR have the seeds been sown; somewhere at a very early age?
While trying to trace answers; I observed that SEX; as a word comes associated with a very vulgar tag. SEX is taboo; in our society; though SEX is the ONLY reason why we all exist.
Why? so much hypocrisy about SEX when its a basic need of every human being. My small understanding says that; we have such problems in our city(read country) because we are confused about SEX. We practice it; but we wont talk about it.
Parents, books, schools do not talk about puberty; sex and desires with children. There is only one lecture in biology, which explains about reproduction. Every student looks forward to this lecture, only to be disappointed. An intimate scene in a movie, causes the parents to switch to a news channel. An advertisement on sanitary napkins gets the same treatment. Its basically a "HAWWWWWWWW" situation. All this suppresses a child's curiosity.
What are the kids left with? The resources are friends, porn magazines and now internet. But does any of these quench a child's thirst for knowledge? This incomplete knowledge leads to more confusion and curiosity and the only way to discover is to EXPLORE.
Just imagine; you are being told; not to open a particular door; because its risky. You are not told why is it risky; neither you are told what lies there and what will be the repercussions. What would you do? You will resist opening that door; till you can. Your mind will constantly think about that door and one day; when you can no longer contain your curiosity you will open that door. You will find darkness inside and to discover light you will keep going inside only to fall at some point of time.
Had the situation been- that someone told you "That behind this door lies darkness; which will make you fall. I'l keep telling you whats going inside; you just got to believe me; because I have gone behind that door. I'l let you go inside when I understand there is Light." Would you still go? The chances are negligible; because you already know whats in and one day you will go there to see it for yourself.
This is exactly what we need to do with our kids. Educate them about SEX. Suppressing and hiding things, never served a purpose and will never do.Tell them about puberty before their friends can. Tell them about pregnancy; safe sex before they become sexually active. We have to impart knowledge about what Sexually Transmitted Diseases are and how do they spread. Informing a child that AIDS is Acquired ImmunoDeficiency Syndrome is not knowledge.
Tell them that private parts of the opposite sex are not meant to be stared at. They are to be respected because they are the reasons for their existence. Tell them that breasts are to feed a child when he cant eat anything else. We have to tell the teenagers; that SEX is beautiful and its LOVE-MAKING and not satisfying your desires. Its important to help them distinguish between love and lust. Letting them know, that, its ok to have desires and fantasies; but its equally important to control them.
When we will be able to impart this knowledge; we wont need to tell the young adults to be loyal to their partners; or to use condoms. They will do it themselves.
I believe; the CITY one day will no longer be the one with suppressed sexual needs; but be the one where SEX is respected and not craved.
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