Been There... Done That!!!

Today I think what am I doing with my life? I wake up at 6am; leave for office at 7; work there and come back by 8pm. I fight the daily tensions; killing traffic in Gurgaon and when I reach back I read newspaper or solve some puzzles. My life has become so mundane. And this is not how I want to live. I dislike routine; I don't like to be bossed by any-one but this is exactly what I am doing!!! I ask myself a question several times - What have u achieved in your life so far and if its zero ; do you think can you do something great in your coming life?

There is absolutely nothing great that I have done so far and I feel sad when I have to admit this but yes I have discovered myself. I have an experience of a lifetime which if I utilize optimally can help me making it BIG!!! This experience gives me pride and confidence ; it gives me some sense of achievement and its what I look up to whenever I loose my vigor.

Here comes a story...

The Department of Computer Science; University of Delhi is my alma mater. Its the mecca of technical expertise,knowledge,innovation and passion. Every student here strives to be the best; not just in academics but also in thinking differently; and nurturing their ideas to make a difference. Its a place where Attitude makes you reach an Altitude. We have various activities going on in our department apart from studies and all of them are organized with professionalism and celebrated with equal fervor. Sankalan - our technical festival is an event which brings us all together. Its a convergence of technical knowledge; managerial skills and intense competition backed by efforts of a team of DUCS.

It all started way back in 2006 when I was in my junior year in M.Sc. We had elections for the post(s) of the Placement Co-Coordinator. Although most of us wanted to hold the post; but none of us dared to take it up; given the RESPONSIBILITIES and COMMITMENTS this post demands. Its a very tough job. I had a desire to take up this post ; but I dint mention this to my class. Not because I was afraid of taking up a responsibility but because I wasn't confident of my getting placed ; let alone giving my 100% to the job. Neither I knew; how much people trusted me. Had I known they believed in me strongly ; I would have taken the risk. Once; I casually mentioned amongst a group of friends that I can try. One of my batch mate said - "No! Dont make her the PC; she doesn't know how to talk and she wont be able to do justice." Maybe; it was spoken casually but it pinched me alot. I let it pass.

In January 2007 ; the entire department was preparing for an event called Sankalan; about which I came to know only in first week of January. I had got just one event - Inauguration and then my role would be over. In the Inauguration ceremony the then President was doing a Welcome Address. I dint hear the speech; though I was standing next to the stage. I was thinking - Thats' where I want to be. A dream was born - A dream to lead Sankalan 2008. I have always wanted to work; sitting idle kills me. But ; most importantly I want to work smartly. I want to show people how a tough thing can be broken easily into small pieces and conquered. I want to show the way to people ; as I always have an opinion about everything and generally I am right. In Sankalan 2007 itself; without being given the task I participated in three more events. Such was my enthusiasm.Soon; the idea took a back seat because Sankalan was to happen in next year.

By the time of elections I had got placed; I also had an importance in my class. People used to listen to me; they would look up to me as a right person who can offer solutions and also walk the talk. At the time of elections; I strongly vocalized my desire to be the President of DUCSS. I did a campaign and I was elected. Though it wasn't easy; there was tough competition and thats a different story.

Now; I started to feel the heat. Unfortunately, there was a group of people ( significantly large in number) who dint favor me. Not because they disliked me; but because my true potential wasn't known to them and the circumstances in which I became the President were conducive to tarnish my image further in their minds. (I dint use the wrong means :D ; circumstances portrayed a false image) . That was my biggest challenge. I wanted to turn 50% support to 100%. I wanted to prove to them ; that I am deserving and capable enough to lead them. How; I did it? You'll come to know.


I first met up with the working team ; which is christened DUCSS. DUCSS had a total of five members and two of which did not know me really well ( read - had apprehensions working with me :D) and they were to turn out as my BEST supporters in times to come. Our immediate aim was to generate sponsorships for Sankalan. And as luck would have it; the recession in the IT industry had started. Most of the companies( our sponsors) were cutting on costs to tackle the crisis. How; would we get sponsorships? We prepared a sponsorship letter. We made strategic changes to it and made some plans based on the experiences and trends of previous years. We approached the companies and kept pestering them for responses. The biggest blow came in the form of one of the companies saying NO to sponsor us. All our plans and strategies came to a dead end; because they depended heavily on this company.
Lesson 1 : When you lead; have alternate plans.
Lesson 2: In business - Dont follow ; what has already happened. Chances are it will not happen next time. So think differently. 

As time ticked by ; the tension was mounting. We had no sponsors. We had some money ; but not enough to sustain last years' success. On top of that; I was under tremendous pressure from my own expectations. I had promised myself to prove my caliber and to answer those who said Girls cant be good managers. My "I'l show You! " attitude had been hit hard. Still; we were persistent and patient. I could not tell my team that I was worried; else everything would have been finished before it started. Now; I sought the help of entire student community in the department. I made things transparent. "Guys! We are having trouble and we need your help. It ain't going to be easy ; but with your support we'll sail through". Now every-one saw a direct involvement. They began to trust me seeing my honesty by not hiding the reality. Everyone tried and tried their best. Juniors ; batch mates all gave their support. Seniors and Alumni too pitched in to take us out of this situation. Now, I knew for sure; even if we don't get sponsorships ; but given the support I have; DUCSS would pull it.

One lucky day; we went to meet our long time patrons - Aricent Technologies (Holdings). We had high hopes. We had to go to Gurgaon ; I dint know how to drive and Secretary Shobhit dint have a bike ( in short dono ghoduu they :D). We went in the cab of company which had said no for sponsorship with the help of a senior . What an irony. Aricent pleased us; though with some minor changes the deal was closed in our favor.
Lesson 3 : Chances favor only the prepared mind.

But this money wasn't enough to make Sankalan reach the heights ; that we all dreamt of. We tried our hardest. Nothing was working out. I was constantly in touch with a person from Microsoft on phone. But; somehow it just wasn't working. We went to NOIDA. I remember traveling in a bus with people spilling out. My feet on foot board; one arm loose and one arm tightly clutching the aunty in front of me. As and when the driver applied breaks; half of my body would be out of the bus. MAN it was scary and I still feel surprised; how come I dint fall. It was what you call struggle. But all efforts in vain. No answers. After a month ; we had a savior in Microsoft. I had cracked the deal ; with Microsoft offering us double of what they offered last year. All of us went jubilant. People appreciated me for my hard-work and never-say-die spirit. They now believed that they had a good leader ; who can lead from the front and make things happen.
Lesson 4 : With great power comes great responsibility.

I gave them a slogan ; which they echoed in unison - "MAKE IT HAPPEN"

We had funds ; but still there were more challenges. Though I had gathered support and confidence from all quarters; but there was one thing still haunting me. There were some groups; which happens everywhere. You cant expect 100 people to hang out together or to think alike. Groups are formed because people think differently and hence sometimes despise rises. My job was to bring these people together.They all lived for a common cause - Sankalan. But they never knew ; what they thought was same. My job was to make them realize that their thoughts are one. Their passions are same. They have common love - Love for their Department.

Sankalan had various events - 9 technical and 3 non- technical. I had two options : either to divide these events 6 - 6 amongst these two groups and deepen the divide or have members of both groups be a part of each event and take a risk of them disagreeing because of ignorance. I chose the second option. I was willing to take risks -no matter how much it could have jeopardized the perfection of event; I knew instinctively - people forget their differences if they are passionate about a cause.When in doubt go by Conventions and When in good times go by instincts is what i believe in always. In past few months I had observed everyone closely. I knew their strengths and weaknesses. I knew where I could use the energy of one person and brain of the other. I knew who all were compatible with each other. But instead of deciding where to put these people myself - I gave them a choice of choosing an event they wished to handle. Based on what they had done last year ; what their choices were now and of course my observations we placed them strategically in the 12 events. For those; whom I was unsure I went with my gut feeling. I also asked every-one to come up with their ideas ; propose a new scheme to me which is new and if it was within my resources I gave them a green signal.Event-Coordinators were made one from each group to eliminate all possibilities of bias.They were told to rule their event. Try out new ideas; change the look of an event. Anything within the constraints was allowed. This gave every-one a sense of ownership. They were not answerable to me but to themselves and I knew they would give in their life to make their task successful and All did.
Lesson 5: Calculated risks work.You should have a courage to take them.

I set practical deadlines; made them report to me. I would praise them for extraordinary work and pull them if they lost the sight. Most of my team was enthusiastic enough to manage things on their own. I rarely had a need to shout and grill them. There were no issues between the groups.In fact there remained no groups. They had gelled in so well and appreciated each other; which made me proud of them. Such a team can never loose.

A team which needn't be told what to do and when; a team which comes at 9 am to work and leave at 7pm; a team that is hungry for more work and a team that stands united in all times - will always be successful. That was my lesson 6.

There were many things that I could see and others couldn't. e.g. Backup of electricity - all said power failure is rare here and it wont happen. I knew we needed generators. We had two labs and events were divided in both labs. I ensured that software of all events be loaded in both labs; in case a lab became non-functional. I was blamed to be too fussy and to pessimist. On the D-Day there was huge power failure and also unfortunately generators could not support both the labs ; so two events would have to be held in one lab. Had I not got the software loaded in both the labs- was it possible to even think of this solution?
Lesson 7 : A leader has to be foresighted and have a vision.

On 2nd February 2008 ; I led my team to an experience of a life-time - SANKALAN 2008. Teams from all over the country come to participate. Its a congregation of people from IT industry ; the students - best brains of the country fighting out for the Sankalan trophy . On the day ; many things went wrong . I was constantly on two phones handling the anxious team mates. But I couldn't show it ; how tough it was for me to greet the guests with smile; ensure a smooth sailing ; and tackle all problems ( but those involved know - we were screwed up with smiles pasted on our faces). As we were well prepared in advance we managed it all.
Lesson 8 : No matter ; how big the trouble is .. your hard work and confidence will see it off. And yes all problems were beaten and Sankalan 2008 was a huge success. We all had MADE IT HAPPEN :)

At the end there was party - time for which all were waiting. Celebrations for the success of Sankalan; hard work of 5 months that had paid off were on peak. Suddenly the President - fell... ill. Celebrations stopped. Concerned faces all over ; were thinking how to get across this situation. Finally I was fine; but the celebrations were over. I had spoiled the fun at the end; for me and for others as well.
Lesson 9 - Dont work so hard that you aren't able to enjoy its fruits.

Though I learned a lot; I did a lot but still there is room for more. There were many mistakes I did and I learnt from them too.
But I wont tell what were those mistakes and what was my lesson ; that is Lesson Number 10.

I thank my entire team for being a team and doing such a great job ; the praise for which is inexplicable. The seniors and alumni of DUCS made a huge contribution to make it a success. And I also derived my strength from my friends, whenever things went awry ; so they deserve a special applause.

Having said all that ; I wish to make a very bold statement - Given the situations and constraints nobody else could have done a better job than me...and this feeling pushes me to stop living a routine life and try to scale heights.
Because once - I have Been There ... Done That!!! 

Mummy...

Mother shares the relationship with child not from the time when she conceives it; but from the time she conceives the thought of being a MOTHER. The dictionary defines "mother" as a biological and/or social female parent of an offspring. How simple it is for these folks to say this.Its amazing how a mother bears the child for almost nine months; goes through about twelve hours of labour to bring a life in this world. Even in tremendous pain she has the courage to smile. I am sure the emotion(s) in child-birth must be divine.

Here follows my tribute to "MOTHER" - synonym of LOVE...

I wont say my mummy is the best mummy in world... because whosoever gets to read this post will say "NO!! My MOM is the best"... so here goes for all dear moms...

I was born in your dreams; when you wanted to fly high; to reach for the stars... but somewhere you couldn't owing to circumsatnces..owing to life...You dreamt that day; that my daughter will do it for me...You met PAPA and then you both shared the same dream...I was born...You called me VANDITA...actually it was my grandmother who christened me...another connection with a Mother... Vandita means adorable; the one who is worshipped...What a beautiful name to start my life. It wasnt just the umbilical cord that connected me to you. It were your dreams; your passions; your experiences; your style and everything that I could grasp when I was in your womb.

And I was born a shy child; who never troubled you. I sat around quietly watching you managing the home, and you would keep talking to me though you knew I wouldnt understand. You would wake me up, dress me up like a doll and then gaze in admiration at your own creation. Everytime I messed up my face you would come running and wipe it with the corner of your "SARI". Well to be frank I dont even use my handkerchief before washing my hands and your using sari to make me look tidy again makes me feel so special.I held your hand and learnt to walk and today I stand on my feet because you taught me how to.

Everyday you would wake me up for school with a kiss and hug. Each morning you would inspire me for a new start. You would labouriosly make "paranthas" for my lunch box and sometimes the "big burger" on demand while others just brought bread-butter. I used to feel so proud during the lunch break when my friends used to surround me to have at least a look. I dont remeber whether I used to share my food, but I remember you used to make two lunch boxes so that I could treat my friends with your delicacies.I would come back from school and you would take my bag from my shoulders upto home. Lunch had to be special and heavy... AHH "Mother's Love" they say... and when it had "tinda - tourai" I always wished that the market- price would shoot - up...I hated you when you forcefully fed me those GREEN VEGETABLES (Good for Health). You would help me do the home-work and relentlessly demanded that I improve my handwriting... SORRY Mummy its worse now :D

and when came the Exams you would sit-up nights with me; helping me with solving Math problems; cramming up social studies answers and bribing me with a toffee to stay awake for "JUST ONE " more question. You never wished me "ALL THE BEST" for exams but you would religiously put "RED TIKA" on my forehead and give me "Sweetened Curd (dahi cheeni :P)... and I would still say "Wish me LUCK"!! When I came back home you would eagerly take the question paper and say "AH!! You know the answer to this question" and "How? Did you answer this one". I thought as if I was giving a re-exam :D and then came the ugly part where-in you would say "80/100 you'l manage" and I would say "NO!! I am expecting at least 90". Here you taught me the lesson "To give your best in whatever you do; but expect Less in return"... I cant express how much I used to dislike you for underestimating me but somehow you would convince me ; how important it was... SO!! What was the actual score I used to get... sometimes it was way above jubilating 90 ... sometimes unexpected 85 and sometimes disappointing 80. But you had already prepared me for 80 so it never hurt me so much... and surprisingly the score never went below 80...

As I grew up and subjects changed you could no longer help me with studies but you made it a point to sit besides me; either peeling peas for next morning or weaving a sweater which was far from over since two years :D... You would give me coffee, an occasional toffee or a simple pat on back. It really helped mummy. And I fail to understantd how you manged to know the exact time when I needed all this. Here you taught me to CARE; to LOVE.

Now; when I came back from exam you would just ask how was it... If I said excellent you would say "OK! Prepare for next" and if it was the other way round you'd say "At least there should be one paper to bring down the percentage". And you know what I secretly used to mark myself just the way you would but my marking was never as accurate as yours. Many a times during exams I fell ill and thought of skipping the exam. You said " It doesnt matter to me if you fail; but it matters if you dont complete the job given to you". I have taken exams with 104F fever ; running nose and red eyes. You taught me professionalism here; though you yourself never went to work.

You would still walk with me till the bus-stop a kilometer away from home; and if we saw the bus from the far end; it was you who used to run faster than me to stop it ; that too in "SARI!!!" How you did it all still remains a puzzle to me. While coming back from school you refused to pick my heavy bag.I thought why had you changed; you always carried my bag when I was a kid. Now I have understood - You were teaching me to be independent.

You would keep a check on kind of clothes I wore; made sure I never let open my hair and you oiled them regularly.You would warn me to stay away from that girl or boy in school. I used to feel so stifled; that you were trying to control my life. But when I dint listen to you ; I came across harsh-realties of LIFE. You wanted me to be able to judge people I bring in my life. You wanted my life to be safe; secure and happy and you never let loose any ends. But you always gave me my share of independence. You would convince PAPA to let me go for a picnic; sometimes faught with him and ensured I attended the LAST LATE NIGHT PARTY in school. You would let me buy clothes that I thought were fashionable and you thoght were sensible. You always amazingly struck the right balance. You seemed to know it all.

Often I used to talk endlessly about my day; many a times repeating the same old stories. You always had the patience to listen to them; advice me when I needed it; laugh with me at jokes and console me when I felt low. All this used to happen in kitchen ; you were teaching me the importance of quality time; time management; importance of being a listener. You taught me how silence can be used to magically heal a person and yes sideways I learnt a lot of recipies. Now, you are proud of my cooking. :)

I stepped into college and you taught me some basics. You warned me against the evils. But I failed to follow a lot of things you said. I failed you mummy. I literally went down the drain. You again came to my rescue. You pulled me through it. Whenever I refused to go to college; you would push me out of the comforts of home and chide me to face the world. You taught me to fight for myself. You taught me to stand for my rights. You taught me to love and accept myself; to stand strong amidst adversities. Mummy !! with you by my side I conquered it all. I came back...back with a bang...I surprised everyone...It was a new me - Confident,Couargeous,Righteous and Strong.I had realised that "It's the family that stands by your side through thick and thin". " Its the parents who love their children; no matter how bad they are...what wrongs they have done... They are always there... Like forever". I now knew the difference between right and wrong. I now knew that it was my family who was my prime importance and others were just an illusion. I had fallen and risen again. Now; I believed in every word you spoke..every rule you set and followed it. From then I had stopped lying to you. No matter how uncomfortable I felt about the truth; I would come and confess it to you. We had become friends.

There have been times when we sat in morning and at 11 am you saw the clock and said; with your gossips my entire day has been wasted. I would have finished half the work by now :P . I still try to fit in your lap ; I still try to play horse - ride on you. When you are busy working I still throw water on you. I still toss the lemons and off they go and hit your head. I chatter endlessly with you. And now you share your secrets with me. You tell me what you hate and what you like. When I cry; you cry... When I laugh your eyes gleam... When I dance you love it... at least Il loose some weight :D You tell me your dreams; your fears... your childhood; your friends and your naughty days... It all happens between us and I love it.

We are frank with each other; but sometimes I laugh at your innocence.. One day it took me an hour to explain to you about GAYS and LESBIANS...and you failed to understand and shunned it saying " Nobody can go against nature's laws! Its not possible... Today's generation has made it as a way to seek publicity or maybe its kind of fashion". All my efforts went in vain :( But its OK! I know its tough for you to understand.

Its tougher for me to understand how you manage to do all the sacrifices for me... When I go for shopping; you say just one thing "If you like it; take it... No point leaving it". And when it comes to buying something for yourself ; you say "I am growing old; it wont suit me". When both of us know that the reason is the attached price-tag. When you go to astrologer ; you ask about all of us.. but you... When I ask "why? dint ask about yourself"; you smile and say "You are my future".
Mummy you are my best friend... I wish to achieve all your unfullfilled dreams. I want to accomplish the great heights you have always wanted me to scale. I wish to make you proud... so that you can say "That's my daughter".

I thank Nani for making you the person you are... soft and strong...practical yet emotional...stiff yet flexible... thanx for being PERFECT!!
I want to be a MOTHER one day and I wish to be your reflection...

References :
My Life

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motherhttp://www.uq.edu.au/_School_Science_Lessons/UNBiol5.htmlhttp://health.discovery.com/centers/womens/daughter/daughter.html

The Man in My Life

Do you believe in LOVE at first sight... I DO!! He was the first man I saw... The way he looked at me... with all the dreams in his eyes... I instantly fell for Him...

The  first MAN I had ever loved is PAPA :)

He told me - " when I first held you in my arms I had tears in my eyes..." . I cant express how special I felt when he said these words to me... I have always looked for happiness outside; ignorant of the fact... I had all the happiness in the world with me :)

By the way PAPA is very handsome ; he looks like Raj Kapoor... oh my my ... He has  brown eyes; killer smile... innocence on his face.. and oh so cute look on his face... Most of my friends have said "Your Dad is so smart "... I bloat in Pride ... after all he is my pa... He looks too cool in that shimmering aqua blue shirt... clean shaved ... with the smell of park avenue filling the air... The royal King's walk... Mumma is so lucky... and I m sure I wont be half that lucky :(

There is something unique about him : Apart from all the good habits - like no smoking; no drinking; no non - veg... Papa has a tremendous faith in God and he doesnt hide it... Most of the guys I have come across; either dont believe in God ; and even if they do they are too shy to admit it... He hands over his entire salary to mumma.. I can bet no guys would do that...Men love to be in control... and even amazing is that ; he is still in so much control...

He is conservative in his own way -  staunch belief in traditions; stringent rules and strong values make my father... He has never compromised on quality of his life... this quality doesnt mean a lavish lifestyle... it means no compromise on honesty; loyalty; truth and faith... and he has given this to me as a legacy...

I have always thought of him as a difficult person ... but I have always been wrong in my way of interpreting him... though he isnt too supportive of my views ; of the way I think and do things... He feels I am rebellious , aggressive and too modern... BUT he has never tried to stop me... He is vocal about what he feels... but  he has LET ME BE ME...I have always felt that he wont allow me to this; he wont let me do that... and every time im in for a surprise... He has always given me what I wanted.. though he never showed it... Thanks PAPA... though we dont formally exchange thanks and sorry... but Im really lucky to have u as my father...

It makes my heart ache ; when I see you  sacrificing small things in life... just to make us happy.. just to make us successful... I have always seen you saying... he has a camry.. he lives in a posh location... he wears armani... BUT I HAVE THE BEST CHILDREN...its important for me to make my children successful... You have made us DREAM BIG... AIM BIG... and I wish to make your dreams come true...

You have shared your success... your mistakes... everything... so sportingly... and you have ensured that we learn from them... you have aimed for perfection ... be it my marks in Maths... or the way I give you a glass of water... You have always tried to make me a smart girl... (and maybe somewhere I have let you down... :( )

You have been  protective about me... and always worried whenever I step out of my house.... Whenever I get late... you keep standing in the balcony...constantly searching for me on the dusty road... You have scolded me for all the crap I do in my life... When I argue... we have world war in the house... and when I cry... you go in another room... and come after 5 minutes to see if I am ok...

Whenever I have been successful ...  you make it a point to tell every-one how proud you feel about me... and you constantly ask me to be consistent without complacence ...

During the worst times of my life... You have made it a point to sit besides me saying nothing... or asking me to fight it out ... with all that I have... To pray to God... to have faith... and to believe in myself...

You bought me a dictionary when I first topped in class 1... you gifted me a watch when I turned 16 and I still cant part with it... you gifted me PC when I did well in my exams... You have cried for me when I made your dream come true... Its inexplicable in words...  how a daughter feels... when he sees her dad cry with joy... and I must say I have had my best moments PAPA...You have celebrated my success more than me... Yet you have ensured that I remain modest...

Though there have been times of conflicts... with the difference of opinions and I know I have let you down... But I ensure you one thing... Come what may.. Il never compromise on my values... and one day Il make u proud... VERY PROUD...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA!!! may you have all the happiness in the world...
LOVE YOU :)

P.S. This was posted on 27 July; in my previous blog :)

You DON'T want to drive a MERC!

This is a conscious attempt to write a comparatively smaller post. Hope it works for me. The post focuses on materialistic nature of the human mind - if you aren't materialistic ; you can stop here :)


You DON'T want to Drive a Mercedes.


When the above line is not punctuated properly or the words are not properly stressed ; they can mean differently to different people.

Somewhere it Challenges you to not to sit back and try harder to own a Mercedes. But it doesn't end here. The question is : Even if you own a MERC; would you still want to DRIVE it. Please don't consider the painful traffic; your bad driving skills to answer the question. Its much more deeper than what it appears on the surface.

I remember ; in my school days - We the gang were on a drive ; incessantly chatting and suddenly a car rushed by... no not a car... THE CAR rushed by and all of us shouted ... AUDIIIIIII!!! My GOD! it felt something.

I have a fetish for big cars. Whenever I see a Black Merc going past; even a BLACK Camry will do... I am transported into a different world all - together. A MERC is completely seductive ... and now I know what people mean when they say - Its a huge TURN ON.  


Coming back to the question - Would I want to Drive a MERC? Certainly I would wish to own one ; but driving it would get a vehement NO!!!

Why ? Simply because ; certain things in life are meant just to be leisured. No matter how much de-stressing driving is for many people ; but nothing can give you a pleasure than riding a chauffeur driven Merc. These days I see a lot of Mercedes on road and I make it a point to see whether there is someone in there , apart from the person at a driving seat. And I love it when I see somebody happily reading a newspaper or working on his laptop; aloof from the world outside. He knows, everyone around has at least for once looked at him and envied him; and he enjoys it but still he pretends to be indifferent to the world outside. I wonder ; how it would feel to be there inside. Yeah ! I know the grass is greener on the other side ; its not so great in there and all that philosophy but I know for sure ; all of would want to be on the other side ; for once at least.

But! My mood completely changes when I see some-one driving it alone. May be he is the pilot of the monster or maybe he is the proud owner. It doesn't make any difference to me. I pity the guy there. I apologize for being too blunt here - But whats the point driving it all alone. Either you should have your girl-friend by your side to enjoy the lovely long drive. Or you should be at the back-seat enjoying the luxuries. MAN! you own it ; so enjoy it. Driving the other cars gives you pleasure; but when in MERC you would just want to stretch your legs or maybe sit pretty ; sipping a drink; talking to someone special over the phone or waiting to reach you destination , where jaws would drop when somebody pulls open the door for you and you step out elegantly.

I remember ; once being caught in a traffic and people were boiling owing to being stuck up. Suddenly there was honking; and when we looked back it was a Merc driver trying impatiently to make his way. One of the furious driver in the other car shouted - "Sa@!&y !! hai toh tu driver hi; Mercedes mei beith key taup samajh raha hai khud ko" . The honking stopped. I assume he wasn't a chauffeur since he wasn't dressed as one. Maybe he was the owner; maybe the driver but somewhere the onslaught must have pinched him.
When you drive a MERCEDES; your status is decided seeing where you sit. Such is this world. Maybe I am too materialistic by making such a statement ; but its the truth. I personally would prefer my BIG CAR to be driven by someone ( no matter how possessive I am about the beauty) else I am better off riding in my office bus. I get to learn life from there by watching the traffic move.


Somethings in LIFE are meant to be watched ; sitting back; sipping the strong coffee and enjoying the flow. One of them is a chauffeur driven Mercedes. There is something else I rate higher than this pleasure - Taking a long long walk with my beloved and watching the sunset. It means much more. You Bet! :)

F R E E D O M

Greeting the day with smiles
Spirit to trudge thousands of miles
Is FREEDOM to me…
To dance crazily and giggle
To get drenched in drizzle
Is FREEDOM to me…
To love without restraints
To live without constraints
Is FREEDOM to me…

To DREAM to reach the sky
and Muster up courage to fly high
Is FREEDOM to me…

To make my voice heard
To define my own path and not follow the herd
Is FREEDOM to me…
To educate the child begging on road
To wipe the sweat of old man carrying the load
Is FREEDOM to me…
To see women walk without fear of being raped be it day or night
To see people sleep without fright
Is FREEDOM to me…

To get my work done without bribing the clerk
To see people succeed deservingly and not bcz they were born in reserved category by luck
Is FREEDOM to me…


To spend as I wish without worrying about inflation
To see politicians in news for fighting for right and not for charges of corruption
Is FREEDOM to me…
To celebrate Independence Day with aplomb
And not to be frisked in fear of a terrorist BOMB
Is FREEDOM to me…

Conceptually LOVE

My notion of LOVE changes day in and day out. At times I feel I could write a thesis on it and then sometimes I sit confused; with my thoughts wandering.

class emotions

{

  private :

   Person p;

  public :

    emotions();

   

    intensity anger ( reason, 

                            source,

                            circumstance);

    

    intensity happiness ( reason,

                                  source,

                                 circumstance);

    

   intensity grief ( reason,

                          source,

                          circumstance);

    .

    .

    .

    virtual void love( void ) =0;

   

    ~emotions();

};

class event1 : public emotions { ... };

class event2 : public emotions { ... };

class event3 : public emotions { ... };

class event4 : public emotions { ... };

If u have a class of Emotions; and functions like anger(), happiness() , grief() etc. operating on a Person with a return type Intensity of the emotion; its only Love() that cannot be defined.

For each type of emotion we always have reason, source and circumstances. Depending on all above factors; intensity of an emotion can be calculated and interpreted.

But for LOVE it takes nothing to be in it and nothing to be out of it. It takes a void and returns a void.

For every class of events in life that derives emotion each has its own implementation of LOVE. LOVE is so universal and yet so unique.

Sometimes I feel; Love is effortless. Like it doesn't take any effort to breathe ; itdoesn't take any effort to be in LOVE either. Yet both are so vital to our existence. I am in LOVE constantly and consistently. 

I fell in LOVE by virtue of touch when I was in mamma's womb. It was LOVE at first sight when I saw my dad. It was LOVE through sharing when my brother entered this world. And this LOVE continues to grow exponentially till the object of my class gets destroyed. ( or maybe there will be a LOVE LEAK; as my folks will continue to feel my LOVE for them; even though I no longer exist.)

I am in LOVE with food because I don't seem to get bored of it and also because I need it. Like food, LOVE is crucial for my existence. LOVE is like memory-allocation; something you always need to exist.

LOVE for my family has a static storage. It exists till my life's program exists. 

LOVE for my friends is like a function call. As soon as I meet them; an activation record gets created and LOVE is like a variable created on that stack. Not that after the function returns ; LOVE evaporates. But during the course of time; as the function call gets over and we call new functions ; that LOVE for friends seems to fade away. But I know for sure that I can call that function every time.

 Romantic LOVE in my life is like memory allocated on heap. It wont get destroyed unless I specifically delete it. If I forget to delete it; it might become a source of major bug in my life.

But all things about LOVE cant be explained technically. Had it been possible; all of us would have polished our concepts and mastered it.

There is no Mr. Perfect

...

A knight in the shining armor... riding on the swift white horse... rescuing her of all distress...

He lifts her with his arm with such ease ... a peck on her cheeks red ; with fear ... their eyes meet and they ride into the horizon of happily ever after...

Since I was a kid; I would dream of a picturesque location; dressed in white... hair falling across my face... eyes searching for someone; in the vast loneliness stretched across... and there would emerge a knight who would take me to my dreamland...

I had this definition of PERFECT etched clearly in my mind. A story I used to see unfold every-night in my dreams; and with every dream; there was perfection.

To each girl I talked ; there was this definition of Perfect someone... We all wanted our MAN to be athletic built, well chiseled – Greek God. Deep intense eyes; dark and tall... Adventurous; fun loving; witty; humorous; romantic; loyal; protective; possessive and secure at the same time; very rich; extremely successful. The one who knew how to cook and also fix the geyser. And as years passed by; the definition of Perfect saw more additions; more demands ... but Mr. Perfect was nowhere in sight. There was no white horse and there was no sturdy knight; no breath taking locations.

And then the dreams came crashing down... the only thing that stayed in place was "the girl with her hair falling on her face and in distress"

Suddenly there was this realization - "Even I was not; what I saw in my dreams..."

Running behind perfection; she had spoilt her White dress and it wore the color of mud.

I realized then; if running behind perfection I dint stay perfect... then it was quite possible my Mr. Perfect could also have stumbled somewhere.

I tried to clean my white dress; though it dint come out as white as ARIAL and TIDE promised me; but there was this beautiful color to my dress. I called it the color of experience. I decided to decorate my not so white dress; with colors of experiences all around. With some tit bits added; retaining the originality of my dress I stepped out again. Not in search for Mr. Perfect; but in search of that essence that would complete my love story.

Did my knight have to be athletic?

NO

He was to be capable enough to lift me off my distress.

Did he have to come on a white horse?

Na'ah I don’t need a Mercedes; I need a man to walk me home...

And what about the shining armor?

His armor didn’t need to shine; but he should have the character; the dignity that is un-tattered. If there was dust on his armor; it was a proof he had fought his battles bravely.

Did he need to rescue me?

Ne'aah.. I better rescue myself from the clutches of dreams that were snatching away the beauty of life from me.

I wanted to open my eyes to him.

I need a look that appreciate me as a person; and not judge me for my imperfections. I need a Greek God as ugly as I am and as beautiful I deserve. Dark or fair complexion dint matter to me anymore; what mattered to me was the brightness he would bring to my life. He would be as loyal to me; as I would be to him.

Romance no longer meant to be by the hill side; in a cottage; with lots of chit chat. It now meant hand in hand; with fingers the talking and teasing and both of us dreaming the same dream. Adventure, fun and humor come of age and spark within us...

Wit was a matter of thought process and a man of experience would be high on wits; I hoped.

Success; riches; fame is like a one night stand. You hook up; you enjoy yourself and when you have screwed everything; its goodbyes.

I started looking not for Mr. Perfect but a perfect relationship - which comprised of our imperfections.

...

And one day; walking on a road; we just bumped into each other... Yes our eyes did meet... there was this spark; which we could sense was PERFECT...

He held me across my waist; a peck on my cheeks as I blushed and he rode me to the horizon of happily ever after...

I had found my Mr. PERFECT :)