Monday, June 24, 2013

Acceptance

Life becomes much easier when we try to accept who we are and what we have. If we start accepting ourselves with both our strength and weaknesses ; good and bad ; we shall be able to lead a much content and happy life.
These days I am trying to love myself; enjoy myself and trying to correct some mistakes i think i have made. I am trying to improvise on my nature, i am trying to be more polite, more caring and understanding and optimistic of situations around me.
I am trying to forget the hurt , the baggage that i have carried long enough in my heart. I am trying to stay away from situations which lead me to negativity and involve myself in things i enjoy doing.
I am hoping God will help me lead to a right path and give me opportunities to flourish.

I am trying not to judge others, not to think about things that have happened. Its not that there are no flashbacks ; but i am trying to replace bad thoughts with good ones.

I am trying to forget unpleasant things; its not easy to forgive and forget but its easy to divert the focus to other interesting and creative things i can do for myself.

I am trying to accept the fact that everything happens for a reason and everyone around us has been given some task by God which they will knowingly or unknowingly fulfill. I am trying to accept that whatever happens and whosoever is responsible is all God's plan and i can do nothing about it. 

I am trying to drill into my mind that my only job is to stay happy no matter what happens and do what i like and not to hurt others. In this course if i can be any help to someone i shall try. I have come to understand that if only i am happy then i can spread positivism around.

I am trying to accept God's plan for me ;whatever it is; i will try to enjoy it and be happy!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Of being Liberated

Liberation means to show freedom from social conventions or traditional ideas. It is the act of trying to achieve equal rights and status.

This thought spurted in my mind as I was watching MTV Hero Honda Roadies Season X.
When asked whom you want to defeat ; Anirudh says Mohit or Gaurav. He said even though defeating Palak or Raman wont be easy but even if I win I wont get that respect ; defeating a girl and still there be some fingers raised.

Raghu retorts "ladkiyo tumhe aakhir kya karna padega equal status paane ke liye". Even though I am not an avid fan of Raghu but this is something that really hit the nail.

Firstly , I need to define the term equality. Equality means two people are treated with equal respect for who they are no matter how rich or poor, male or female; capable or challenged. Two people are appreciated for their respective qualities - someone might be a strong physically, other might have a good IQ; someone would be artistic and the other is a good cook. Someone handles emotional situation well and the other can empathize and offer solutions.

BUT people should be respected for being people; for being humans and not for being anything else. Nobody should be bound by conventions and be judged if they do not comply to norms. 

Equality means to treat each other well, to be considerate of feelings, to be open about other's ideas and not expecting the other person to be meek and submissive. 

Though I talk here about the gender inequality but this applies to all inequalities in general. For years there have been rules laid both for men and women. There have been conventions that the man will earn the bread and the woman will rear the family, than woman will sit cross-legged and the man will fold his hands in front of him while standing.

But how many times we have talked about rules for men and women. Its generally about the woman not doing a certain thing right and a man's right to ask for it? What about the times when the man simply forgets to adhere to rules and is forgotten and forgiven just for being a man. 

If the woman has to be reprimanded for not doing as per the convention says than so should be the man. Its high time we keep reminding both of conventions or keeping shut for both.

Its OK if a man cooks and its also fine if a woman earns more than his man. We are living in modern times where we as society have changed the conventions. We have woman contributing to the daily bread; doing the jobs which men were supposed to do. So we should also be flexible of the rules we lay. And when I say "we" it means both "men and women" and not just the man alone.

In the parliament when a bill becomes a law ; its being voted for by all MPs and its not just that only one person decides for it to become a law. What rules should govern the society should be discussed and then followed rather than the man himself deciding for himself and the woman.

Why is it that if a girl has an opinion; her opinion is crushed for her being a girl? Why is that the society rates a husband higher than the wife? Why is it that we as woman demand for equality? Why is it that when a girl gets married ; its a favor done to her by her husband and her new family? Why is a house only the man's and not for both. Why is it that marriage and motherhood the only goal for a girl and a job the only goal for a boy ?

Why should a girl learn cooking because later on it will cause problem for her and not because she likes to cook. Why  is that if the boy enters the kitchen every-one looks dazed? Why is it that if a boy is aggressive he is a fighter and stands for right and if the girl is aggressive she is labelled ruthless, unnerving and not so girl like.

Why is voicing her opinion raises eyebrows and a boy not raising opinion brings him brickbats? Why is that some jobs only suit men and some only women?

Why the same family has different rules for a daughter and a daughter-in-law? Why are daughters the burden and daughter-in-laws servants? Why is it that the husband gets to decide everything and the wife has to ask nth relation in the family if the color of the dress suits her.

Why is it OK for the man to drink and uncanny if woman holds the glass? Why is it that if a woman is it at home she is homely and if a man is at home he is lazy?

I understand certain rules were laid because that's how the society worked then; but if we as society are evolving our rules should evolve too. 

The only rule should be that everyone be treated with respect and dignity. Be it a man or woman it should be their choice of what they want to do; whether they want to cook or go to work. Whether they wish to drink beer or milk ; if they want to get married or have babies or just enjoy their lives being single. For every one's lives it should be their sole decision and the consequences should be their own too. For the matters that concern beyond individual there should be discussions and decision should only be taken after the consensus.

We as girls should stop demanding for equality ; to be respected we have to consider ourselves equals. We should stop demanding for reservations in jobs, public transports and any places that suit us. We should make ourselves capable and not beg for equality.

Liberation means to be educated; to be equal ; to be able to live with dignity ; to live a life of freedom from all judgement and to bear the consequences of all self made good and bad decisions.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Quarter Life Crisis

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis

Of late I have been wondering; what I am going through and then I stumble upon a phrase that remarkably defines my state of mind. Quarter Life Crisis.

In my late twenties; I really don't know how to look at my life. It has certainly not turned out the way I wanted it to be or has it? I am confused.

The Goods that have happened :
- Books, Studies, Gaining Knowledge, Learning, Growing, Evolving
- Taking up the challenges , fighting the fears that have haunted me the most
- To Love and To Be Loved Back
- To be married

I have come this far and these were the most and the only important things in my life and when I achieved all of it I realized Life is much more beyond that... Life is uncertain, unpredictable and very testing.

I was evolving as a person but then all of a sudden it stopped. FULL STOP. I am no longer interested in new things, I don't want to read/ write beyond my comfort zone, I no longer have the patience and neither the time to sit back and dream, think, analyse, wonder and cherish those small lil tini-wini things.

Fighting my fears have made me skeptical of everyone and everything around me. I have become superstitious, scared and a kind of nervous wreck. I think negative and attract it all around me. I stutter, dare not think beyond, try not to be different, talk minimal, and suddenly I have stopped having an opinion of my own.
I was a person who was cautious but never frightened, worried but never stressed, shy but not nervous. The one who had her own opinion, who knew of her likes and dislikes. I would ask for suggestions but was always confident of choices I made. I lived my life so as to never have regrets. I was an average girl who thought she was different - and that made all the difference.

I loved to read, sit back, relax, stretch and laze around, yawn with my mouth wide open and never concerned of who would be thinking about me. I never cared if I'll be judged; opinions never mattered to me. What mattered was what I thought about myself.

And here I am in the clutches of my own fears, fear of being judged, fear of not being myself, fear of having stopped dreaming, fear of not being able to think; of not being able to decide. Making a simple phone call to a friend sends me in analysis spree whether they would be busy, if at all they wish to talk and bleh . . .

I don't know if I want a career for which I have worked so hard, I am unsure if I want to start my family even though I always thought I loved rearing my kids. I don't know if I prefer cooking to reading; dancing to eating. I have never been so unsure of myself . . .

I want to have more dreams, I want to be able to decide,  I want to laugh out loud , to dance in the rain ... to be proud , to be lovely.
I don't wish to be perfect, I wish to be clumsy un-lady like... I want to write.... read a lot, earn respect and money. I want to travel the world ; eat like an elephant , try different things and end this state of mind I am in.


Friday, January 25, 2013

Maa

Meri nazar dhunde tujhe.... Tu aake thaaaamegi maaaaa
Tujhe sab hai pata...hai na maa

Miss u so badly mumma:-(